Top 10 List

I may have been one of the few that didn't watch the Oscars this year, but its sounds like I didn't miss much other than an F-bomb and a stoned/lifeless James Franco. The one part I will spend a few of my valuable minutes on is the grading of best dressed the next day. I don't particularly actually look at the grades as much as I just breeze through and check out the women all fancied up. Which leads me into what I wanted to share, my top 10 hottest women list. Every guy has one and usually we can name the top 5 off in our sleep without hesitation. So here's my 10 and im pretty sure there wont be any complaints. I don't mind suggestions of who you would want delete/add off this list. 

10. Kate Mara - Why wasn't she brought back in Entourage?

9. Mandy Moore - She sold me with her voice and pure beauty.

8. Jennifer Love Hewitt                                                       7. January Jones

                                                                                                      

6. Shantel Vansanten - Only reason ill still check in with One Tree Hill once in a while. 

5. Jordana Brewster                                                                            4.  Blake Lively   

                                                     

3. Kate Beckinsale - Definition of natural beauty.

2. Jessica Alba - Eyes and a smile to get lost in, and number 1 is....................

1. Rachel McAdams - Always has and will be my number 1. If I ever get a chance to meet her my life will be complete bottom line.

Honorable Mention: Eva Mendes, Minka Kelly

- TO out

Why Not Use Tae Bo?

I may comment more on this later, but for now I will just post the video.  (Brought to my attention by Sports Pickle, one of the funniest websites out there)  I have not seen this movie, but could there be an opening scene that rivals this in rediculosity? To mention a few issues, playing with the lights off, that being a college locker room, taking a phone call on line 3 at halftime and well, just watch...

-a

Let me Reintroduce myself

It seems as though I have been the slacker of the crew. Life seems to get in the way of what is really important at times. Such as couch time, innovative wine openers that seem to still make you struggle with the cork.. and blogging. So I will let you in on what my mind seems to ponder on, the situations that presents itself throughout these long drawn out days that pass by in minutes and the troubles that living with three dogs brings.

First off, I have never lived with dogs.. besides the living arrangement that dogs should be in. (outside) But living here has shown me the joyous occasions that three dogs inside can bring. Let me explain the types of dogs that have taken over the bat cave here. We have a goldendoodle? I think is what it's called. It is the size of a horse and hasn't stopped moving for three seconds, excluding the occasion of the disappearing chicken breasts. This dog was too full to move after that even if Jack from Nightmare before Christmas was dancing around in bar-b-que sauce in front of her she would not have wagged a tail. Which as we speak, this dog is doing a triple axle just to finally land her tail in her mouth. A battle as old as time, which no one ever wins.
There is also a lab, well what use to be a lab before old age, parkinsons and what may be HIV set in. What is nice about this dog is that as long as there are shadows moving amongst the room, this dog will be in a trance that I don't care to mess with. As long as she is not bothering me she is free to act a fool as long as she so chooses. As weird as it is, I like the simplicity that this dog enjoys in life. I am not saying I am going to chase the shadow of the fan around my room, but I do understand the pleasure that can be perceived from this. Kinda.....
The last and final dog we have is well... a mutt I guess. I have been pr ivied to what enthusiastic young doggies decided to procreate and produce such an outlandish dog, but I must say I would have not let them stay in the same room if I could have prevented it. For such a small dog, she must be the loudest one. If a footstep is heard at least 100 ft from the house, this dog goes off like the Nazis are invading Poland. At times I feel as though I need to take cover in fear of taking shrapnel to the head. I have looked into shock collars more in the past week than I have ever even though about in my whole life. Although I feel that this would be the first time someone would get their money back from this item in reference that we have the one dog that does not feel pain. They are part of the family though and I have grown to accept them as that. I will not use love them, because well, they are dogs. If they were cats though I would definitely slip cyanide into their food just to test out if this product actually works.

I know that this blog is probably about as useful as a Jersey Shore episode and can probably be compared to it. Useless and without meaning. Except that, well, the point of this blog. Our blog, is that there is not point. It is just that awesome that no point is needed. Thoughts flow from these minds without second thought or without concern for the repercussions of others feelings. So fuck it, enjoy the shit out of it for what it is. Or continue reading your US Weekly magazines about which celebrity is the worst dressed this week.

Let me Reintroduce myself.. my name is SCREECH

PVC & a Hangover.... goes together.

This was just released about an hour ago check it out....... The Hangover 2 Trailer (hope it's as good as the first).

Also this was something I thought was pretty cool I came across today.... screw the drums I want pipe.

- TO out

Paris Hilton and Baby Grenades

Good evening,


I subscribed to @BreakingNews on Twitter yesterday.  It is actually really overwhelming.  I previously had gotten my news from CNN.com (where I basically was looking for funny articles to read with amazing headlines.  For instance: Mom Pleads Guilty to using Baby as Weapon (Don't worry, Jarron made a full recovery and grew up to team up with Evan and put out some hits).  This is no longer on CNNs website, but it was, I promise.  I think the headline writers just get bored and try to make up ridiculous headlines, or as in this case, some dumb person makes it easy for them.  Wow, this parenthetical is longer than Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie's, well never mind.)  But yeah, CNN.com and little birds were my only news sources until yesterday.  Though the articles (especially the comments) are entertaining, it seems that they are missing a little depth.  I had no idea how much news was actually breaking.  Saying that makes me feel like an idiot, I mean if I really thought about it, obviously there are endless amounts of news (Jessica Simpson Moment)(Vomit).  This new @Breaking News has taught me its a big world (though apparently sometimes it's a small world).  In the last three hours @BreakingNews has updated me on ten different stories.  Thank God for Twitter, otherwise I would have to find all this news and actually read the articles instead of just seeing headlines and just guessing what they mean.  Doesn't modern technology make us so much smarter?  Oh and just so you know, a Deadliest Catch deckhand was found dead in a Homer, Alaska hotel room.  I was going to write about what I thought that story had to offer, but my conscience just put a quicker end to that than Paris Hilton's singing career (but don't lie, you like Stars are Blind).

That leads me to my next point (or it just created my next point), why can't people stick with what made them famous (like sex tapes), they all want to do something else to become more famous.  Then they just realize that they suck at that just like any slapdick off the street.  Of course there are exceptions to this rule.  Jesse Ventura, wrestler/governor, Jack Black, comedian/musician, Lil Bow Wow, rapper/NBA player (did you see him dominate as a kid in Like Mike), Kanye, rapper/douche, and of course me, user of parentheses/blogger.........  Ok I don't have much more to input on that, maybe not the great point I thought it might become.  Regardless, stick with what you're good at if you get paid millions to do it.  (I am not sure that I really even believe this but don't those make for the best points/arguments?)




 Next Point, "The Meaning of Life" (SPOILER ALERT)


Ha, I really don't have much here, I have just always wanted to do that.  Something about the all caps "spoiler alert" is like some kind of Siren for me.  Ok, I am a nerd and when I am really into a tv show or a book I like to get on the Internet.com and check out what people have to say about it or how they break it down.  When I see that stamp on a post, I sometimes want to look at posts I don't even care about. Sometimes I give in, sometimes I don't but it is always a 15 minute struggle (ok maybe 30 seconds) where i have to build up all the will power I have to leave it and move on.  


I feel like I really can't follow up on a section titled "The Meaning of Life".  I am going to take a break and ponder that for a while.  If I come up with something it will be up here.  And hopefully, if I can find the meaning of life and post it, this thing will blow up.  Hell, we might then finally have more followers than OJ's Bronco.  






-a

My Secret and Irks

Im going to let you in on my secret to success.....


It's called common sense. I know, I know you were waiting for some huge word or elaborate thought, but truly it's just that simple. Unfortantely for most it's too complicated to apply to their everyday lives or it seems some just don't have any. Life is made up of yes or no, do or don't, and right/wrong everything in-between is irrelevant. 


What irked me in the last 24 hrs:


1. People talking over dexter season 4 as I watch it. 
2. Charlie barking at every noise that sounds like a dog, knock/doorbell, or stranger. (1 of our 3 dogs at the house) Shock collar time.
3. Screech and A trying to figure out how to use an electric wine opener. - That actually was a site to see two idiots who dare not look at the directions (I don't blame them, thats part of man DNA) but A believing you must pull once you have the opener secure on the cork...... umm no its ELECTRIC thats the whole point of why I bought it.
4. Again people talking over Dexter, C'mon man.
5. Leaving hair on my bar of soap... now thats just wrong, get a loofah.
6. Dallas city hall meetings and John Wiley Price. You know you need to grow up when someone metaphorically uses the term "the money is going into a black hole" and you believe that's a racial dig. 
7. People on Facebook that are babysitters and posting every little thing those kids do.


Just finished season 4 of Dexter..... best season yet!


- TO out

The Tale of Crocadilly, and What Snooki Would Like to do With It

So I am sitting here watching the award winning Jersey Shore, and I start to break down Ronnie in my head (had to word that carefully).  I don't know about you but I think Ronnie might not actually be using any sort of performance enhancers.   I know, I know the case is simple enough you say.  Bulging muscles, violent mood swings, unbelievable dancing prowess...but I think there is more.  Let's investigate...

I think that this is a very sensitive man that is cracking under all of the pressure that is put on his broad shoulders due to The Shore.  It all started when he and Sammi started hooking up.  He met her, fell in the deepest most intimate of loves (like Lebron's love for himself or Nick Cage's love for horrendous movies), but always had questions in the back of his head because he was forced to live with, and always tempted by every man's dream girl....Snooki.  If that alone isn't enough to ruin a relationship, Sammi has been so insecure while Ronnie tries to be her rock (Walking Tall). 

Then you have the other male influences in the house.  Talk about a tough group to live with and live up to.  He always has to get so GTLed up just to keep up with Mike's abs, Paulie's hair, and Vinny's brain.  If fact I hear if you take Nicole and Deena's brains and put them together, they still wouldn't be equal to Vinny's.  Thats tough to be around.  I mean shit got so bad that crocadilly hanged himself.  Could have easily been Ronnie, I personally thought Crocadilly had been coping pretty well.  Come to think of it maybe it wasn't suicide at all, just another auto-erotic asphyxiation accident.   If only Crocadilly knew that Snooki would take anything...

So Ronnie has to solve this.  He doesn't want to accept that Sammi is just an insane bitch so he sleeps with other girls so that she won't seem so insane and has a reason to be insecure (tell me you can't identify with that).  How romantic! But it backfires...now she is even more insane and and decided she wants to move out (he was still a gentleman and helped her get some clothes out of the room).  

So now we have sad depressed Ronnie crying in the bathroom (usually he is so stable).  But really, Ronnie just needs some time. With the support from the house I think Ronnie could turn this around.  Thats why this show is so great, it is like the answer key to all of life's strife (that and the visually appealing sparkly t-shrts).  It has the makings of Dawson's Creeks young romance mixed with the life lessons of Full Hou---whoa who's nasty panties are those....wait, what was I talking about?  

ok so...

....The Sound of Music

....Dawson's Creek

....Joshua Jackson

....Squirrel Monkeys?

....

Wait, who am I kidding here, of course Ronnie does roids and this whole argument is bogus.  It's all a big joke.  Everything I just wrote is bull shit.  Well aside from Crocadilly's story and Snooki being the perfect woman (ok maybe that too). This group is like the most dysfunctional family ever. They stab eachother in the back constantly. Its all a farce (and a bronzer ad).   Thats why I love/hate it.  These people are celebrities now for being the shittiest humans ever.  As they say, "one man's trash is another man's treasure".  In this instance I feel some things can be both...and who are "They"? 

-a